Day 28--Something That You Miss

I miss Kindergarten. Really. Kindergarten is probably the happiest moment of man's life. You don't have to think about anything, and you can befriended everyone. No one can judge you, and no one laugh at you when you fall. Nobody laugh at you when you cry. No blackmail, no jealousy. No one cares if you get yourself dirty or sweaty.

All you have to do when you're in kindergarten is wake up, eat your mom's breakfast, take a bath, get your hair ready by your mom, which is always done in a cute way, and go. When you arrived at school, all you have to do is sing, draw, and play. And most importantly playing, which take lots of time. And it's always good, and feeling ridiculously happy just to sit in the see-saw. That time, life is always simple. And happiness is as simple as buying ice cream in the nearby store and when you sit in the swing. Or even falling and get your knees bleed because you got into a bicycle race, life is still good.

my cousin(left) and I. When can you go to school and be this cute?

Day 27-- Your Favorite Number

Probably 7. Actually, I think all numbers are all the same. I don't like numbers. They brings devastation and desperation for everyone. They're not even that exact. Why 1 is better than 3, although not in all case? Why does 5 preceed 6? Why we have to find a definite form of x? Well I like number in one thing. Money

Day 26--What Kind of Person Attracts You

Hmmm, this is something hard to elaborate since I don't have any particular type of someone that will catch my eyes. Anyway, here's the list:

• Humorous. I like to laugh. I literally laugh at anything, but sadly this doesn't go proportionally with my jokes. So, someone who makes a great jokes earns a certain respect from me.
• Movie Junkies. Well, since I probably like to watch movie a little bit too much. And it's always nice to have something in common with anyone
• Have this certain persona. I can't elaborate this. Hormones' work
• Tall (well, if it's a man). At least taller than me, which is easy since I'm a little short.
• Cheerful, and easy to talk to. 
• Goofy? 
• Manly, if its a man. I like manly man. I don't like me being sloppier than my man. My man. It's weird to imagine me referring anyone that way
• Someone who like to go on a walk. And hang out
• Someone who doesn't hesitate to eat both street foods and restaurants
• Someone who matches my adrenaline. And fyi, I am an adrenaline junkies on theme park
• Intelligent? 
• Kind
• Have the same taste of music as me

Note, a person doesn't necessarily have all the points. 2 points are enough to make me interested. And writing this post feels weird. I feel like writing the qualification of "a man of my dream. And this goes surprisingly too well. And mind you, I'm still waiting for someone who can make me feels the butterflies in my stomach. Of course that should earn some kind of prize. I'm someone who can easily impressed and easily disinterested with anyone. Confuse? I don't understand myself either.







 

Day 25--Someone Who Fascinates You and Why

Honestly? I have a hard time answering this question. I really don't want to be a hypocrite but apparently, I am fascinated with everyone in general, and it is stretched from physical to  personal level of that someone. I mean, I am confuse. Should I answer a celebrity? An artist? A random person? A member of my family? Someone close to me? The Prophet? or God? I mean,they have their own way to fascinates me, and I can't choose. 

Really, this question would be so much easier to answer if it is titled "What aspect in a Person that Fascinate You the Most". So forgive this awfully short post of mine. Because really, I don't know to answer, to the point where I googled "Day 25 someone who fascinates you and why". Oh My God and that even sounds pathetic.

Day 24--A Problem You have Had

The title is making me feels like an old fish. Which is not exactly true when you just turned 18 a couple of months ago. Well, true if you just visited your elementary school in the last 2 months. Oh well.

If this post talks about a major life-changing problems, well, I don't have one yet. My life are like a sudden breeze of soft winds that had gone unnoticed, since I partly not fully conscious that something is a problem. Mainly because I just enjoy the whole ride. 

And unexpectedly, I have one. This happens when I was on middle school. We were on some class (which I don't intend to tell you). The seat was arranged into groups, in which usually contains 5 or 6 members in each. We were given a topic, then we had to present the issue in front of the class. The thing is, the whole class forgot that we had a homework in the next hour's lesson. And nobody did it until later. Anyway, my group did not encounter a problem and we presented the cause smoothly. Until we finished. The class started doing the homework within the present of the teacher of the present lesson, with another group presented an issue. And everything still ran smoothly, until my friend accidentally put the homework book upright. Well, we still didn't realize what the problem was until my group was called into the teacher's desk. Our hearts were thumping wildly, and the strong odor of fear was  present. We were called to the teacher's room, which was always translated major trouble. 

"Did you do Mrs. ... 's homework on my lesson?"

"Why did you do that? You are aware that this action means that you don't respect me, don't you?"

"You surprise me. You are the last person I expect to do this" 

"Just talk to her. I don't know what I should do with you"

"I feel like I should give you punishment, since what you did is not okay in any lesson, and I know that you're fully aware of that, and what do you think we should do to you so you would not do such thing again?"

"Memorize ..... and see me when you're fully memorize it. The deadline's in a week"

Fortunately, the punishment was just to memorize a surah from Qur'an, not calling our parents to school. 

I know that this is not like a major trouble, but being me,  never have gone into trouble before, that was scary. Anyway, lesson learned and I've never done that again, thanks to that event.

Day 23-- Goals for the Next 30 Days

Let's get to the point, shall we?

• Finish this 30 Days Challenge, which is already a month late.
• Finish or read these books:

                                

• And watch these movies          

• And make a poster themed "cultural issue" for campus orientation.

Bye!

Day 22--How Have You Changed in the Past 2 Years

2 Years? I guess 2 years from now on would be the start of 11th grade. Actually, there are no significant differences between me 2 years ago and now, but I think I am more open socially. More, independent. I think right now, have more confidence and bravery in 'testing the water'. 

I mean, on the 11th grade, I was in a class with 2 of my closest friends. So, the class was already on my 'inner circle', socially. But now, I got accidentally threw into the unknown but somehow, I made new friends along the way. Two of them are from the same school, and another are from different school in my city, but the thing is, those people are never considered to be in the 'inner circle' from the past me. And we got along. And I can't stop laughing when I'm with them. So I'll take it as a good sign.

Maybe the significant change from me in this past 2 years are confidence. I speak my mind a lot more than two years ago, although not to the point where I threw myself to the water. Maybe this changes is not big for some of you but, it's takes a lot from me

Me, approx 2 years ago. So chubby and childish lol 

No longer a short-haired-unconfident-coward, 

I

Day 21-- One of Your Favorite Show

I watch, well, basically, everything. Ranging from Hawaii Five O, to Hannibal, from America's Next Top Model to Beauty and the Geek, from Masterchef to Cake Boss, from Keeping Up with the Kardashian to Jerseylicious, and from Glee to Bunhead.

Although I  rarely watched everything subsequently, this particular show leave most marks in my life

                          

 

Seven seasons and still running, and I still got high watching this 

Forever Watching, 

I

Day 20--How Important You Think Your Education Is

I find education a very important aspect in our lives. Coming from a relatively middle class family, I find education is a life-changing aspect. I can say this because the parents of my grandmother was illiterate. 

They lived in a colonial era, and suffered from the Japanese colonization. In fact, My grandma's father was a slave of Japan. He had a goal that his family must never suffers as he was, so He forced his children to go to school in an era where woman's role is to be "in the kitchen". So it was pretty peculiar to see my grandma went to school. Then she got an offer to became a nurse so she moved to my town, leaving her family. Met my grandpa, married him,and gave him 7 children. Life was hard and everybody was poor. But they worked as hard as they could to give enough food and the best education they could give to their children. And then here we are. I didn't mean to brag, but I feel very fortunate. We have cars, television, some latest electronic gadgets which can never be bought if my grandmother didn't go to school during her childhood. Or if my mom and uncles and aunts didn't study as well as they were.

So education should never be underestimated. People should never underestimate the power of school no matter horrible you academic life might be. As for the people who cheat, you guys are screaming to the court to execute the corruptor, and yet you still corrupt your own life. I mean, if you don't happy with the state of our country right now, why don't we educate ourselves to be the one who make the change? It's like to make our house clean, we have to clean our room first, don't we? It doesn't fix things if we just making a sarcastic comments about how dirty our room is without actually making an action.

To be educated doesn't always mean that you have to be good at maths or physics. Education also teaches your manners, consciously and unconsciously. People would stop littering if they know what  the danger of littering might bought into the world. Education changes our logic and perspective of thinking, and teaches us of how to express ourselves in order to be heard, which doesn't always involve violence.

Like I've said before, education can change the fate of poor families. Getting a better education means getting a better job than your parents. Getting a better job improves the life qualities of your family. Nutritionally, and academically. Improving your quality of life means giving a better life for your children. Then your children would do the same thing as you did to their children. See? It's an endless chain which connects one aspects to the others. 

So why do we, all next generation, still too lazy to study and cheat in tests while we know how important education is and loathe the act of corruption? If we don't start make a change of ourselves now, who will? 

   

Day 19-- A Letter to Someone You Want to Tell Everything About But been Too Afraid To.

Hi

I know that a white lies is worse that a bitter truth. But what if the truth are so painful? Like a kid, who got a bad score when their parents have been expecting so much of him? The thing is, we keep some things to ourselves we don't want others to know about. Like cheating in an exam. I'm sure the parents never know whether their child filling up the answer sheet with honesty or not. Parent just want to know the result. The process they see is just the night before. They don't even know if their child study their asses off or just playing and opening some random topics.

So I sincerely want to tell you he truth, but I am afraid. I am afraid of the stereotype of who I might be on the society. I am afraid of what people might say. I am afraid what you might think of me. It's not that I don't trust you, God. But the thing is, I've never tell anyone about it. I've never speak about it, I've never even think about it with anyone. So, I'll let you to know that If I ever decided to tell someone, I would tell you first.








Not sure how to feel,





I

Weird

I edited my last 18 posts in the label 30dayschallenge, and I just literally changed the alignment of all my posts. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my day 2 and day 3 posts are the suddenly the latests, making the impression that I wrote the posts unsystematically. Which was annoying.


Anyway, Sorry for the inconvenience.




Just being a perfectionists,






I

Day 18-- Your Beliefs

What is beliefs? Is it something you hold on to in every shot of breath that you take? Is it something that you personally believe in your heart but it is so private that you don't want others to know? Is it something that you repeatedly asked to yourself in everything that you will do next? Or is it something so private that only you and God's business? I mean, belief is a large field of aspects.

Religiously, I believe that there is indeed God. I'm a strong believer in monotheism, so I don't believe there is the Son of God whatsoever. Science, and every creature among us was an instrument of your faith. I see God's almighty power was spread between the creatures God had been creating since the day of the presence of life on earth. And I believe that everything happens for e reason. Even the death of a tiny ant that humans don't care about happens for a reason. Some things, happens beyond our small, pitiful minds and still happens for a purpose. I believe God's plan are reflected to the things individuals had been done, but God give it "with a little twist" so I believe that if you want to have a fabulous future, do good things in every single millisecond of your life. And I believe that the so-called "twist" is always in our range of power, even if it felt hard in times.

I believe in the power of human minds. I'm pretty sure that the mind have a stronger willpower than the body. Minds have such an infinite unexplored power. But sadly, people like to generalized people's mind state and frankly, no minds have the same aspects of power. Like Einstein and Edison. I believe that people shall not afraid of power, but fear the mind itself. Mind have the power to change. It ignites fire and unexpected power. And its power are limitless, unlike muscle,which depends on how many glucose breaks down from its chain in a single metabolism process. Even in such great despair. People dies or continue their live depends in what state of minds they're in.

I believe that every people are beautiful. It's a shame that everyone would choose to undergo a plastic surgery, which is not a guarantee that people would leave up to the society's expectation. As you can say, I don't fond of plastic surgery myself. I mean, why would a person think that they should slice or cut some parts of their face just to look like everyone else? I mean, you are your own mix of you parents gene pool. Why try to fix the gene pool when you're the perfect mixture? Beauty are unfortunately always subjective. Tan people are not beautiful in some culture. In my culture, people with fair complexion are considered beautiful. In Africa, skinny women are not preferable and yet here we tried so hard to lose weight to catch up with the society's standard.

What else? I don't believe in love at the first sight. Hell, I even have not fallen in love myself. I mean, I think the millisecond two eyes met, you judge a person by their look, not how their actual personality. Okay, maybe they have cool hair and beautiful eyes and blablabla but I think what you experienced are lust. Not the kind of oh-my-god-have-sex-with-me lust. But like, the lust of  possession. To possess something beautiful, or the mere illusion of beautiful. I don't know.As I say, I've never fall in love. I don't know how it would feel.

Hm, I think that's all I remember of everything that I believed in.

Bye!

I  

Day 17-- Your Highs and Lows This Past Year

I can't recall my high and lows these past years. Everything happens in a flash of lightning and I was flabbergasted, not being able to catch up, process and absorb anything.

My highest these past year would probably got accepted in a Law School. Which caught me off guard as well, since I feel like I am under a social pressure in order to pursue my passion in art. They tell you not to get scared to pursue your passion but there are a lot of things relates to your future job beside having a passion in one field. You have to consider your job prospect, and success probability, which always subjective, and of course I got scared. There are too much risk. But I realize choosing to study Law is a great risk too.

Then, graduation, which is ironically one of my lows this past year. Happy, because I graduated with a relatively good score, which I still think that I could get higher marks, but hey, no more physics in my whole life? That is definitely something worth to celebrate. Lows, because in the graduation, was probably the least presentable version of me. And I'm not ready. I'm not ready to leave this state of myself, to leave the circle I've been unconsciously built inside of me. And I'm not ready to jump to a whole different world that I'm not used to. But I guess life doesn't work that way.

Friends, is both in my high and lows too. These past year, I've never thought that I would be that way. Thankfully, you guys gave me the taste of high school life. Well, anyone won't hang out in the midst of the craziness of senior year. But you, my partners in crime. We chatted when everyone did their task since we felt "too lazy to do it". I remember our "We've fed up of this kind of life" speech. But sadly we have to go in separate ways. I'll wish you guys all the best in your own paths.

Probably that was my highlight of these past year. Not much, since my past year was socially uneventful but is was academically roller-coaster ride.

bye!

Day 16-- A Letter to a Stranger

Hello,

This is awkward. I don't know anything about you, and you don't know anything about me. Which is good. And bad. I can be anything that I'd like to be in this letter. I can be a sweet innocent girl to a sly cunning prostitute who would steal and murder their 'customers'. And the best thing is, you'd never know the truth. But I think that pretending to be someone that I'm not is mentally exhausting and it hurts my brain. So I think I'll stick to the truth.

I'm actually not very good at the people that I hardly know. I think that I'm not easily open myself up to new people. Maybe this is genetic. Maybe I was born that way. Honestly, my mom told me that I even got scared and cried just because my mom put me in new clothes.

Anyway, I am Indira. No, I'm not Indian, since a lot of Indian people asked me that before they looked into my photos. But yes, my parents seems to get the inspiration from Mrs.Ghandi, which symbolizes a  successful woman (my mom's word). And If you looked into my photos,  might look Japanese, but I'm not Japanese either. But yes, my country fell into the Japan's hand in 1942. My Mom and Dad are locals. And I have no Chinese blood whatsoever. Well, maybe since my Dad was a mixed blood between two locals from a different area. One of them are from a place where people there at least have Chinese ancestors. That's why I got this look. Which was good, when I was little. I was so cute, you know. Round cheeks, small nose with a resemblance of freckles, round, but relatively small blackish brown eyes, long lashes, fair complexion in contrast of my jet-black hair. But now? I don't know since no one have ever call me beautiful except my own family, and it doesn't count.

I know literally nothing about you. What you like, What do you do in your spare time, Whether you're old or not, If you're single or in a relationship, or whether you like books or movies, and what kind of music that you listen. So, I might want to explain myself that can fit in any people, like the state that I'm in, or the thoughts that came into my head before I fell asleep.

Unlike any teenage high school movies, I don't hate people. Yes, maybe I can't befriended some kind of people but I understand that we don't have anything in common. Maybe they do something that I don't like but it's their life. Their choice. They did it in a full consciousness. Maybe there was some story behind their actions, so I think it's not very healthy to judge in people in any circumstances. And unlike any high school movies, I didn't have any crush(es) at anyone ever, I didn't go to a crazy party and get drunk, and I didn't have my first kiss stolen by anyone. I'm no bully and I'm not a person who you considered to be 'invincible'. But I'm not everyone's friend either, which is probably my fault. But I have friends, alright and thankfully my high school life didn't suck like those movies.

Me, like any other teenager, like to listen to music, which my friend said to be too 'prehistorical', watch movies-not chicklits, although it's like a girls' curse to like sappy romance, and may I remind you, I am a girl, and read books. My love and social life mainly consists of three of them, which explains why I'd never fall from actual people. Only a characters of books I've only known by their actions and thoughts the writer beautifully describe, which caused me questioning my normality. But this last 10 days I'm proved to be normal, thank you.

I don't know what is your main interests in the process of knowing people. And I know that I sound like a mere teenager, which is mainly true. I am in a matter of fact is a teenager who still in the process of searching her true self. So why don't you tell me a little of yourself?