"Making your way into a new circle is always hard. Yes, it is always nerve-wracking. Even me, who was always in demand of making my way into a new circle, feeling anxious and nervous. It is uncomfortable, adapting. And it is actually very human to feel nervous and scared"   --Mom, who is regularly placed in an unfamiliar circumstances and culture for almost every 3 years, for a 4 years of work.

Day 30-- Your Highs and Lows of This Month

"I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend"--John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

This past month, my mood, well, in a straight horizontal line. I barely went out with anyone. But when I did go, my mood goes olympus-high. It is always nice to meet people, went out to eat, chatting about nothing in particular, exchanging jokes and sharing laughs, and actually having a social life.

As you know, I'm a non believer of the "artificial pleasure" of socializing in social media. I mean, why do you chat with anyone you barely know? How could you exchanging jokes with people that don't even know your real face? I know that people would judge me as a loner or something but I prefer to meet and chat with someone. Yes, there might be some awkward moments but I don't care. It's amusing. But one chat in particular, after midnight feast in the middle of ramadhan where thoughts were cloudy with sleep and stomachs were full with food and you have this conflicted feeling where your eyes demand sleep and your stomach begs you not to, interests me. And it's about boys in our major, which always interest me. And mind you, it'sin social media, but with someone I know of course. And it is actually fun.

Anyhow, this month is the month of separation, and the month of growth. And growing isn't in the same dictionary as comfortable, I'm afraid. This month, I have to spend at least a month in a dorm, the longest I've been without my family in a foreign city so far, and separated with my lovely-and-in-dire-need-of-boyfriend-and-romance cousin, who always been with me and I can actually ride my bike to go to her house whenever I wanted, and she goes to another campus in another town. Which was sad.

I understand that certain things have to be learned the hard way, but still........

Bye!!

Day 29-- A Letter to Yourself in 10 Years

Uhm, hello

What is it like in 2023? Are there still elephants? Giraffes? Tigers? Can you still breath the clean air in the morning? Are there still clean water? Can you hear the birds chirp in the morning? Or the sound of frogs at night? How's the house that I've been living at for 18 years? Do you still play the piano? How's your Clair de Lune?

How's my college life? Do I make it alright? Can I prove to myself that I am good enough to be here? Do I meet someone special to me when I was in college? Do anyone love me and confessed his love or do I meet my first love here? Do I graduate with a good score? 

Sorry for bothering you with all this questions. I can't help but to wonder what my future would be like. Whether I meet someone. If my child is a boy or a girl, and wondering how they would look. Do they look like their dad or me? What kind of person my husband might be. Whether I've been making the right choice or not. Or where I will work and whether I enjoy it or not. 

So, do you enjoy your life? I, being a first timer in this so called "dorm", is happy in the current time. Although the cute boy, whose mom is the dorm keeper, seems to always bother us and asking us to play with him. I guess he is a kind of lonely, whether he realizes it or not. A child with no brother or sister usually is. Well, maybe he like the presence of someone whom he could play with. I remember the time my older cousin spend the night in my house. I keep telling her to play with me until it's like, 10 pm. I realize that she got a big dose of patience in her.

Anyway, remember to always make time for your child. Don't overwork yourself. Learn to cook like Jamie Oliver, if you remember who he is. Love everyone, and don't judge anyone. Listen to other people, and don't say the word "don't do that" unless you give the explanation why, and don't break your child's opinion, and respond to it nicely. Play dress up with your daughter, and read to your children every night. Do everything with passion. Dress up nicely, and be nice to everyone. On top of it all, always be the best version of you all the time. 

P.S Do you think that I'll be married and have a child in 28?