Descartes- "it is prudent never to trust completely those who have deceived us even once"

That particular guy,

Hello. How are you? Do you remember the first time we met, that particular spot at that restaurant? That We had been on that spot twice? Do you remember our first convos? I remember your twinkling eyes, your laugh, your smile, that boyish smirk of yours, and that particular look you gave me after we kissed-don't even think that I didn't notice. I've always been comfortable around you and I've always felt like I can tell you everything then shared the comfortable silence throughout our long drive. And now, I cant help but to wonder how you've been. Or whether you're on your dark days. 

To be frank, I loved you. I've told you that, but I didn't think you see how much-which is understandable because I'm not good at expressing myself in this department. God, did you even realize how much it kills me knowing that  you've lied and deceived me? That you've been using me just to fulfill your 'needs'? I hate myself for cutting us off just like this. But I can't bear the pain of being your friend after what you've done, and knowing that I can't be with you. Because you're with her. And the fact that I can see that you've been good to her. You made her happy. And I thank you for that. People often blame the other woman but have they been placing themselves on their shoes, knowing that no matter how big the effort they made, it is always painful to know the truth that they're not the first or second choice, but they're not even a choice? No one should be in that position voluntarily. 

At one point, it's just hard to think of not talking to you and having this overly passionate conversation about anything. But time heals all wounds, Now, I'm in my happy place. I've moved on, but I dont want to experience that vicious cycle again. I may not ready to face you now, but someday I will be. And I hope things are still alright between us at that time. I just hope that we made peace with ourselves. I know that I said that we couldn't be friends again, but honestly, I wish that we can have that kind of connection again--you know being good friends and all. I really wish our path cross in the future. Because, it really is such a great loss for me to lose someone who understand me on that level. At least we're on the same page on that.

Sincerely, from someone who wishes you to always see the sunshine, even when you're on you darker days.