Turns

I know that this is something that you have been obsessed since like, forever. And I know you guys had plotted which way you would take to guide you to your goal.

But the truth is, I never meant something like this would happen. I didn't even feel qualified to get this. I chose this because, well I don't know, the dream of the moment. I might had been drunk(not literally) when I chose this.

I would have lied if I never hoped to get this. But I didn't even dare to dream to get it. I know who you guys are, for God's sake, who doesn't? And then here I am, suddenly out of nowhere, interfering.

I was not a threat then, just a random girl, choosing this, causing everyone to think that I'm wasting my talent. But when something that you wanted, something that your parents expected you to do, and something that you like to do do not cross path, what else can I do?

But then it happened. I was happy with this, for I am selfish. But then reality crashed and I thought about your place. My probability was smaller than you guys, and this one is peculiar. 

And then I knew that we ended up in the same place, just with different ways. I think maybe this was meant to be, but I am aware of your feelings and I feel...uneasy. It doesn't feel right. I was not closely acquainted with all you guys so I don't know what you might think about all this, what you might feel about this, so I don't know how to act in front of you guys. I choose to stay in silence but It's making me more and more confused.

So If you've ever read this(probably not, though) I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, or if you think that I am on your way, or I.. I don't know. I know that it's not my place to say sorry, because I think that I did no wrong. I don't understand the selection's mechanism. I'm sure that by score, I mean, we're on different major and I was the one who cross the path. By portfolio, I'm sure that yours are better. As far as I know, I didn't have any relative to help me to get in. This is purely decide by God, and the selection team. 

People said to me to have no worries, but I can't shake the uneasiness of the probability of hurting your feelings. So, I'm sorry for that.