Change

I've been living in this relatively big room, but still small though compared to my room, for almost 6 days, away from my family. There is so much to whine at, so much that I want to change, but then  I realize that it's not the room. It's me. This is still by far my biggest step. There are a lot of details that I have to go through when I want to simply eat at he nearest diner that I could found, when I walked to campus in the morning, or simply when I wanted to walk to but some things that I needed in the convenience store. There are doors to be locked, windows to be closed, bed to be tidy-ed up, dirty clothes that had to be taken care of, and so on. It was like I stepped in into in a whole different area. There are too much things to be taken care of and here I am,got used to be taken care of. I went home on weekends, caused by mental and physical exhaustion. But when I got back,I did all those things like I've did it thousands of time, like this is what I'm always doing.

But then campus life was another world of itself. Too much people, too big environment. The good thing is, it is not that hot, because there are trees in the pavements, making pedestrians comfortable when they decided to walk. People around me in in a whole different level. High School's diversity was like a small swamp, while the campus was like a big ocean. Ambitious, lazy, attentive, domineering, even funny comes in a wide range of diversity. Being adaptive and dynamic was like your social soul's starvation, since even making friends are a competition, where when you're late, it's hard to catch up. The ability to speak is needed, since almost everyone have the ability to speak up.

Then the thought came into my head. Is it really hard to adapt? Is it always been that hard or I have simply gone softer over these past years? Does everyone feel the same as I am, or am I simply not good enough? Does facing this for two days making your brain hurts?

To adapt, makes you mentally and physically drained, even me, a person who had experience it so many times still feels it - Mom, who nearly always sent abroad every nearly every 3 years for a 4-years-duty.

I guess I am normal, then