Future is a hard word. I don't want to expect something so much, since I fear of my own disappointment of myself. Maybe that's why I rarely take any dangerous chances in my life and by far, this is my first time taking a very highly unlikely chance of myself.
So I just want me not being a disappointment of myself. I want to prove that I can do this to everyone who thought that I can just only draw, that this is not me, that I am not belong to this kind of world. I want to prove that I am not a stereotype that people can easily give labels and judgement.I want to make myself sure that I can do good in this field of work,that my skills are good enough, that I am good enough, that I can give my best of me in this field.
Shortly, I just want to be happy of my life. I still want to do good of my life. I want me and my loved ones to be healthy and free of dangerous sickness. I want us to live in peace and still can see elephant and orangutans, giraffe and zebras. I want to have a family of my own with a person who loved me back. I want my children to be healthy,happy and enable to breath oxygen and consume clean water.
I may sound naive and being a hypocrite and all but I really want the next generation have the chance to feel the morning mist. A breath of clean, cold air and the feeling of walking through thousands and thousands of dragonfly. I want my children play outside, not just with electronic gadgets. I want my children have the space to run and friends to play with outside of the house. Basically, I want my children enjoy their childhood as much as I was.
And when I am a lot older, I don't want to be drowned in regrets of the chances that I should take. I don't want my mind thinking about what ifs and should'ves. I want to be proud of my choice that I've take, a friends that I made, and schools that I'd been. I want to live peacefully and being a granny who treats her grandchild well and cook their favorite meals. I want the fashionably fabulous granny who had a magnificent collection of clothes,which doesn't have to be expensive. I want to have close friends until I am old, and be able to maintain a good relationship with my family.
Basically, I want to love and be loved, never to die alone, live my life to the fullest without having any regrets of my own decisions.
Athelophobic,
I
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